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Silence has been a trait of every one of my mentors. When you
don't have a response or haven't formulated your thoughts pausing and
saying nothing can be the best and most honest choice. This can be
uncomfortable for both you and the person you're engaging with but it is
a must.
Silence prevents you from stating an ill formed or
incorrect thought. It also gives others with possible solutions and
ideas a chance to step forward. Even in a one on one conversation, just
not responding, if you don't have a response can be the most powerful
statement of all. It lets the other person know in a way even the words
"I don't know" can't achieve that you in fact do not know or haven't
cemented your thinking to the point of making a statement.
In a
pitch or sales meeting, it gives your audience a chance to give feedback
and move the conversation forward. If you just keep talking, they won't
respond, you'll conclude and they'll just thank you and you'll leave.
This is the worst of all pitch meetings.
Less is more. Say more
with fewer words. Drop the mic and wait for responses. Keep your
meetings tight, pause and ask questions, and allow for silence for them
to respond into. One of my partners at BuzzFeed Andy Wiedlin,
our Chief Revenue Officer, uses the phrase, "give people the gift of
time." People love salespeople who are short with their pitches, ask a
few questions, and end the meeting after 30 or 40 minutes with a thank
you and some action items.
My father, a leading New York City residential real estate broker,
is also fond of the phrase "cut and run." When you're talking to
someone at an event or cocktail party, be the one to "cut" the
conversation and "run." After a few minutes of talking say, "it's been
great catching up, I'll let you get to other people I know you want to
say hello to." The person will appreciate this, they'll be happy to see
you in the future, knowing that you're not the kind of person who
corners them and won't stop talking.
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